


We Can Do This.... Together

by animefreak9898



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Apocalypse, Blow Jobs, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky's Metal Arm Is From An Accident, Cock Slut, Cock Warming, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hydra May Be In The Story As A Gang, I'm Bad At Tagging, Large Cock, M/M, No Beta, No The Dog Doesnt Die, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Sad Ending, Smut, Steve is a slut, Top Bucky Barnes, Virgin Steve Rogers, Writing In Journals, Zombie Apocalypse, adding more tags as I go, no Hydra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-18 02:01:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11864322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animefreak9898/pseuds/animefreak9898
Summary: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have been separated during the worlds worst disaster.. A zombie apocalypse. Steve will do what ever it takes to be with his best pal Bucky, and Bucky would give the world to be with Steve. But theres trouble along the way for both of them. All alone Steve and Bucky are keeping journals to tell their stories.





	1. Chapter 1: My Name Is Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so I posted this on FF .net but also going to be starting to post here now because I enjoy this site better.  
> Anyway on here the chapters will be edited and a lot different from the story on FF .net so if you've read it there this is going to be the same yet also very different.
> 
> I'll also put warnings in the chapter for any sexual or graphic content. :) Enjoy!
> 
> Also any words marked through are (in this chapter) Steve marking through them or cause it doesn't need to be actually said.

_Chapter one:_ _My name is Steve_

 

He had been running all day and it was getting too dark out to see without a light and that would only attract more of them. Luckily he was able to get to the roof of a building safely. Sitting down the blond pulled a notebook out of his backpack.

 

_Steve’s journal: Entry 1_

 

_‘I was alone. It has been weeks since I have seen another living person. I could be the last one left for all I know._

 

_My name is Steven Grant Rogers, most people called me Steve. I’m writing this journal so I don’t go insane being out here all alone. If anyone finds this after I’m gone I hope it will be helpful to you._

 

_If you don’t know what’s going on ~~(and I have no idea how you don't)~~ let me give you the rundown. _

 

 _A few months ago, that’s right I said months. I was out with my best pal Bucky Barnes in the heart of Brooklyn._ ~~_God that man_ ~~ _…. Sorry I don’t have an eraser left…. Anyway we went out like we did most nights of the week when he wasn’t working over time at the docks. He found some girls ~~like usual~~ to take out dancing, we didn’t make it to the dance hall before it all happened. _

 

_On our way there was what felt like a miniature earthquake, it was no earthquake. There was a lab ~~something to do with changing the world or what ever bullshit they were spewing~~ nearby and what ever they did caused half the building to explode. What ever they were working on is what caused all this….. I 'll have to finish this later I hear something out there.' _

 

* * *

 

 

Steve got up from the roof to look for the noise. Suddenly the door to the stairs burst open. He didn’t think he made to much noise ~~but clearly he was wrong~~. Grabbing his bag and notebook Steve took off across the rooftop jumping to the next, and the next, and the next. He didn’t stop until he was certain he was in the clear. Instead of going back to write he took this time to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

_Steve’s journal: Entry 2_

 

_‘Now I lost my train of thought. Sorry it’s hard to sit and write for long with all this going on, right back to the story. You don’t even know what this is yet._

 

_This… What I’m living in now, if you want to call it living. It’s what you’d call the apocalypse. No not the one with the floods or the earthquakes ~~I wish it was that one~~. No this one has something much worse… Zombies. _

 

_I couldn’t believe it at first either. After the explosion people including Buck and I ran to the building. We thought the man coming out was injured, someone even tried to help him. That’s when all hell broke loose. The man bit the other, just bit a chunk of skin straight off. It was terrifying._

 

_People started to panic, to run, even to try and help the two men. That just made it worse. Those people got bit and started to bite anyone around them. It was horrible. The chaos it created separated Bucky and I. That was the last time I saw him…’_

 

* * *

 

 

Steve put the notebook in his backpack and stuffed the blanket in as well. He couldn’t sit around all day he had to find food, and he was running low on ammunition. Slinging his backpack onto his shoulders Steve grabbed his gun and headed down from the rooftop.

 

Did it terrify him to travel through an unknown building that could be full of the undead? Of course!

 

Opening the door to the stairs Steve held his gun tightly as he made his way through the dimly lit halls. Picking a random floor Steve slowly opened the door making sure to be as quiet as possible. He couldn’t help smiling at seeing an office, his imagination taking over as he pictured the types of people who worked in it. There were pictures of families on desks and.. And suddenly there was groaning.

 

Gripping his gun Steve ducked behind one of the desks taking a peek over it. There were only about five of them gathered at an office door. He could hear a child sobbing as well as a woman repeatedly saying it would all be alright.

 

On one hand he could easily leave through the door without being heard. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t leave anyone to die like this. Aiming his gun Steve took the first shot watching it drop to the floor.

 

To bad he hadn’t been able to find a silencer, because the ring echoed through the whole office building. Jumping up Steve quickly took the next shot, and the next. Two more to go.. But he was out of bullets!

 

Looking around Steve found a spilled box of bullets. Thank god whoever dropped them. Rushing over he grabbed two and quickly loaded the gun. Looking up to shoot he froze seeing one of the zombies directly in front of him.

 

With a shaky hand Steve pulled the trigger. “Fuck.” He muttered as blood got on his clothing, at least it wasn’t in his mouth. Aiming one last time Steve shot the gun watching as the last zombie fell to the floor.

 

Grabbing the box of bullets he stood up heading for the door. Knocking softly a sigh escaped his lips. “Excuse me miss.. It’s alright they’re taken care of.”

 

Slowly the door opened a dark haired woman peaked out the door. “You haven’t been bitten have you?”

 

Steve shook his head. “No ma’am I have not. Are you and your little girl alright?”

 

The woman smiled and opened the door, a little girl was clinging to her leg crying. “We’re fine. Oh thank you so much!” She held out her hand for him. “My name is Laura Barton. We were separated from my husband and our sons. This is Lila.” She motioned to her daughter, that’s when Steve paled. Laura was heavily pregnant!

 

“Steve Rogers, nice to meet you. Miss.. I’d like it if you came with me so I can make sure you’re safe until we find your husband.” He kneeled down to Lila a smile coming to his lips. “I’ll keep you safe until we find your dad I promise.” The little girl smiled rubbing at her eyes.

 

“Thank you Steve I would really appreciate that. If it weren’t for you we could have been…”

 

“Don’t say that!” Steve snapped as he stood up, pulling out the bullets to load his gun. “I won’t let that happen I promise. We should get going. I was on my way to find some food.”

 

* * *

 

 

Steve lead Laura and her daughter Lila from the building safely. He managed to find a gas station with food still left in it. He grabbed several Slim Jims, water, chips, and bread stuffing them into his backpack. Lila even had a bag of her own she used for supplies. She had excitedly shown it to Steve telling him the name of every unicorn on it.

 

He was worried of course, Laura was at least six months pregnant and this could send her into an early labor. He had to be careful and make sure she didn’t stress to much. But how could you not stress during an apocalypse?...

 

After eating and gathering supplies Steve lead the two into a nearby church. He used the benches to block off the doors and some windows. He pushed two of them together and laid his blanket over it to have Laura lay down and Lila take a nap.

 

Sitting against one of the benches Steve pulled out his journal to begin writing.

 

_Steve’s Journal: Entry 3_

 

_‘Today has been quite the eventful day. I guess I’m not the last one left. I found a woman named Laura Barton and her daughter Lila. They’re looking for her husband and sons. Laura is quite pregnant and I’m not exactly sure what I need to do for her. But I will not let either of them die._

 

_Back to what I was saying. It was the last time I ever saw Bucky. But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up looking for him. Everytime I look at one of their faces or I pass a grave.. I look for him. And I’ll never stop looking for him because I know he’d do the same for me, and he just may be._

 

_We had a plan Buck and I. If anything bad were to ever happen and we got separated we would meet at his Paw’s old place in Washington. Now I know what you’re thinking, how far am I from Washington D.C.. Well I started out in Brooklyn where this all happened. I’ve gotten pretty far over the months. I know it’s about 300 miles or so. If I had a car it would’ve been real quick. Sadly there is no car and I keep having to make detours because of all the dead. I have about 136 miles left. I’m currently in Philadelphia._

 

_Anyway back to how this happened. After it spread throughout Brooklyn it just kept going and going. ~~We~~ They couldn’t stop it nor could they contain it. I heard from survivors I met long ago who’re probably dead by now. That there is a camp in Illinois just outside Chicago that is living only. It may only be just a rumor but I’m gonna find Buck and take him there. I promise.’ _

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Laura wasn’t feeling so well so Steve decided they would all just take a day to rest instead of going back out. He was alright with that, it gave him time to work on his journal.

 

_Steve’s Journal: Entry 4_

 

 _‘Now I realize I’ve been talking about Bucky a lot but I’ve never really told you who he or I am. Let’s start with Bucky. He’s.. Bucky is…_ ~~_Bucky is amazing, perfect even_ _._ ~~ _Let’s start from the beginning. Bucky and I met in elementary school, he used to find me getting beat up in alleys. I was real scrawny then but Buck showed me how to protect myself. Buck and I have been best friends since we were kids and always will be. He tells me all the time we’re together until the end of the line._

 

_Buck is real tall with nice dark hair. He’s good with the ladies too but never seems to notice what’s in front of him. Buck’s the eldest of his three other siblings, and he’s real good at sports too. Not to long ago he got into a bad accident and lost his arm. He’s got a metal one now and he absolutely hates it, I tried to tell him all the time that it attracted girls to make him smile. He’s really a true friend. If a girl blew me off he’d ignore ‘em for me._

 

 _The truth is… Even if he would have set me up on a million dates none of those girls would have been right for me because… Because_ ~~_I have been in love with Bucky since I could remember_ _._ ~~ **** _I’m just not interested in them._ ~~_God he’s just such an idiot! Before this happened why couldn’t he see what he meant to me?! Bucky was everything to me, and still is. Even if he would have noticed it probably would have just cost me our friendship. Bucky’s straight as a ruler.. He would hate me if he ever found out_ _._ ~~

 

_About me well.. I used to have to stare up at Bucky just to look him in the eyes. But I hit a growth spurt and now I’m a bit taller than he is. I have what people call dirty blond hair. Both Bucky and I are quite fit which comes in handy at a time like this. Who ever you are that’s reading this there is a picture of Bucky and I taped on the back page of the notebook. I’m gonna find him…’_

 

* * *

 

 

Putting his notebook away Steve froze hearing the familiar groaning. “Laura?” Grabbing his gun Steve put on his backpack and stood up.

 

“I heard it too… Lila get your bag quickly!” Lila ran off to the back room to get her backpack. Suddenly she came back through the door screaming. Coming out of the doorway was one of what Steve referred to as a Mutt. Its skin half hanging off, its lips peeled back to show nothing but its teeth, and the stench of blood and decay was heavy.

 

Quickly Laura grabbed Lila and covered her eyes while Steve shot it straight through its head. “Quickly lets go!”

 

Running to the door Steve shoved the bench out of the way. Of course he peeked outside first to make sure there were none around. Quickly he lead the two from the church and down one of the side streets, but that was a horrible idea.

 

* * *

 

 

**\---Upcoming Death---**

 

Usually the side streets had little to no zombies but that wasn’t the case today. There had to be at least thirty of the most ugliest Mutts he had ever seen. There skin peeling off in different chunks. Blood dripping from their torn and stained clothing. The entire street around them smelt of death and decay.

 

Picking up Lila, Steve pulled out his gun and kept her head against his shoulder so she couldn’t see. “Come on we have to move!”

 

They took off down the street Lila crying against Steve’s shoulder. While running Laura slipped and fell down in front of the horde of Mutts. Steve was going to run and help her up but a zombie took a large chunk out of her ankle.

 

Screaming out in pain she cried out to Steve. “Take Lila to the bell tower church on main street! Fuck please! Her father promised to meet us there! Please! Please Steve shoot me! Please!” A blood curling scream left her throat as more joined in biting and tearing at her flesh.

 

Aiming his gun Steve couldn’t watch as he pulled the trigger. Laura’s screams stopped but the groaning continued. Quickly Steve took off holding a crying terrified Lila in his arms. “It’s gonna be alright Lila I’m gonna get you to your dad. I promise.”

 

**\---End Of Death Scene---**

 

* * *

 

 

“B-But my mommy!” Lila cried against Steve’s shoulder as they got as far away from the horde as possible.

 

“I know and I’m sorry but I promise we’ll get to your father!” Steve took several side streets trying to make sure no unwanted guests heard Lila’s crying. He was glad when she finally passed out.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Steve was mumbling to himself as Lila slept. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t help her. I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you both safe.”

 

* * *

 

  


It took Steve several hours and a few more bullets but he managed to get to the rooftop across from the bell tower church. He would be on the ground but the bell rang every hour on the hour, and it attracted a lot of unwanted attention.

 

Pushing open the door from the stairs Steve froze as a bow and arrow was pointed at his head. “Daddy!” Lila called out as she wiggled from Steve’s arms and ran to her father.

 

Seeing his daughter the man put the bow down and kneeled down to hug her tightly. “Lila I was so worried about you! I’m so glad you’re safe!”

 

Steve slowly came onto the roof shutting the door. That’s when the man noticed him again and grabbed the bow and arrow. “Don’t move!”

 

“No daddy wait!” Lila tugged at his arms to get him to put the bow down. “Mr. Steve helped me and mommy!”

 

“Mommy.. Lila where is your mommy!?” Lila lowered her eyes as they begun to tear up. Dropping his bow the man hugged his daughter tightly. “Oh Lila I’m so sorry. It’s alright sweetie it’s alright.” Looking over at Steve he let out a soft sigh. “Were you with her when it happened?”

 

Steve nodded and walked over to the male kneeling down to be on his level with Lila. “Yes.. My name is Steve Rogers. I found your wife and daughter in an office and helped them except… This morning your wife she slipped in front of a horde.. Asked me to bring Lila here to you and to… Well.. Put her out of her pain.” Steve looked down guilty before the man spoke up.

 

“I’m Clint Barton, thank you for taking care of my wife and my little girl.” He motions to the boy behind him holding a baby. “That’s Cooper and little Nathaniel.”

 

Steve put on a bright smile. “It’s nice to meet you Cooper. It has been a while since I’ve met anyone so it’s nice to see some new faces.”

 

Clint let out a deep yet sad laugh. “We.. We’re heading to a camp outside of Chicago if you want to join us.”

 

“Hmm? Oh thank you for the offer but I can’t… I’m heading to Washington to find my friend Bucky. After I get him I’ll find you at the camp.” Clint smiled and pat Steve’s shoulder.

 

“I hope you find him.” Standing up Clint picked up Lila holding her close. “Come on we have to head out of the city by nightfall or we’ll never make it. It was nice meeting you Steve. I hope we’ll see each other again.”

 

Steve nodded standing up. “I hope we do.. Goodbye Lila.” He waved as they left. He himself had to get moving before the next hour struck or he’d be stuck on the roofto-...

 

The large bell begun to chime. Slowly the groaning got louder and louder, now Steve was stuck on the roof until they left when it was over.

 

Pulling out his blanket Steve sat down and got out his notebook, it would be a while until they all cleared out.

 

_Steve’s Journal: Entry 5_

 

_‘The day hasn’t gone so well so far. First of all…. We lost Laura today. I had only known her about a day but still it’s upsetting. She had fallen in front of a horde we got caught up in. She had me end her suffering…_

 

_I got Lila to her father and two brothers. They’re heading to the camp outside of Chicago. Hopefully I’ll meet up with them again once I find Bucky. And I WILL find Bucky, I promise. Now all I have to do is wait for the horde in front of the Bell Tower Church to leave and I’ll be on my way. I’ll see you soon Buck… I promise you that.’_

 

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2: Determined To Find Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's POV and journal entries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder this story is also posted on FF .net but on here it is not only edited but the chapters here will have more detail, and I'll probably update faster on here.

_ Chapter two:  _ _ Determined To Find Him _

**Bucky’s point of view**

 

Steve… 

Steve… 

Steve… 

Steve was the only thing, the only person, Bucky Barnes could think about. He had lost his best friend Steve Rogers the day this happened and hadn’t been able to find him since. He knew he was alive he had to be. Steve and Bucky always promised each other they were together until the end of the line. Well Bucky was still onboard and wasn’t letting Steve get off of this train yet. He had to find him.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Bucky’s Journal: Entry 1 _

 

_ ‘I found this notebook a few days back and decided I’d finally fill it up. It’ll keep me from going crazy and help me remember all my thoughts. _

 

_ My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I prefer to go by Bucky. My best Pal is Steve Rogers. We’re inseparable well.. We were. _

 

_ A few months ago our world got turned upside down and I’ve been living alone in this hell ever since. Each day it’s a fight for my life against the ~~disgusting bastards~~ undead. When this all happened I got separated from Steve and haven’t been able to find him since. _

 

~~_That kid better be alive or I swear I’m gonna kick his undead ass!_ **** ~~ _ Hmph… I ain’t got an eraser left and I’m not gonna waste more lead then I got. Alright so I should explain who I am yeah? That’s usually how these things work in movies anyway. _

 

_ I already told you my name it’s Bucky. My best pal Steve and I have been friends since we were small an' I'm talking can't even reach the sink small. I’m the oldest out of my three other siblings. I got dark hair guess you could call it black or brown doesn't matter to me. _

 

_ Anyway if you don’t know that the damn apocalypse is happening well lucky you. Alright so the day this happened…. I lost Steve, my little Stevie. Well he isn’t so little anymore. And don’t you dare call him Stevie while I’m still living. Only I can do that. _

 

_ Besides that.. We promised each other if anything bad ever happened to meet at my Paw’s old place he took us to during the Summers when we were little. It’s in Washington D.C.. _

 

_ You might think it would be easy to get there from Brooklyn but it ain't. There’s no cars you have to walk all the way. It’s pretty damn challenging when you have to avoid the ~~disgusting bastards~~ undead that want ‘ta eat ‘ya. God I just hope Steve is safe.' _

  
  


* * *

 

 

Bucky closed his notebook letting out a loud groan. He had no idea where the hell Steve could be or if he was even alive. But he was going to get to D.C. and wait for as long as it took for Steve to show up.... If he ever did.

 

Bucky had no idea what Steve was going through, he also didn’t know he was ahead of Steve on the way to D.C. far ahead. Bucky was just outside the border. He could see the welcome sign from where he was sitting. But then again he could probably see his Paw's place from where he was too. His Paw's place was five miles from the welcome sign and he couldn't just see it from the ground. No, Bucky had to climb a tree and once he started he didn't feel safe until he was almost at the very top.

 

He had climbed up there to get away from a few of the undead following him, there were still some stragglers so he wasn’t getting down just yet he wasn't going to chance it when he was this close to getting there. Opening his notebook once more, Bucky begun to write again.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Bucky’s Journal: Entry 2 _

 

_ ‘Alright let me tell you about my relationship with Steve.. It's.... ~~I love him~~ Complicated. The kid could have anyone he wants, so I set him up on date after date but it never works. Sometimes I just.. I hope he’ll tell me he doesn’t like girls like other fellas do. _

 

_ But I doubt it. To tell you the truth I go on dates too just to hopefully make him jealous.. Doesn’t seem to be working. I got this thing for Steve I mean..We’ve known each other for years how could I not? I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed and told me off yet. _

 

_ Steve was raised pretty strict too. If you didn’t like gals you weren’t normal. But damn if likein’ Steve ain’t normal then I don’t wanna be. _

 

_ Sometimes it really pisses me off that he doesn’t notice how I feel about him. Probably should’a said something before this all happened. _

 

_ If I ever see him again I got ‘ta tell him. I can’t keep it hidden anymore. I’d rather get eaten by one of those **things** than go the rest of my life not having told him. The kids the apple of my eye. I love him to death and I mean that's saying something. 'Cause in all this, I'd give my life just to see him smile. _

 

_ Besides thinkin’ about Stevie, which is all I really do. I’m worried about him. _

 

_ I’m just sitting up in a tree waiting for some of these bastards to clear out. I got caught in a horde this morning. Ran as far as I could before my legs started to burn. Found a nice big oak tree and climbed up as far as I could. Thankfully these brain dead idiots, ~~literally~~ , can’t follow me. _

 

_ There is only about five left now but it isn’t safe to climb down just yet. I don’t want to waste any more bullets than needed. I guess I could pass the time by telling you some of the recent days I had.. Yeah… Yeah I’ll do that…. Let’s start back a few days ago…’ _

 

* * *

 

 

_ Bucky’s Journal: Entry 3 _

 

_ ‘It happened just a few days back. I was running down the first part of the highway trying to get to D.C. ~~yeah it has taken me a week to get this far~~. You have no idea the kind of things I have went through before this. _

 

_ I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walkin’.  _ ~~_Steve would’ve called me out for that like he always does._ ~~ _ I was busy playing with a locket in my hands. It was my Ma’s. On one side is my Ma and Paw before all this happened. On the other is Steve and I. Ma always said he was like family so why not include him in her locket. _

 

_ First let me tell you how I got the locket from her.... I..... _

 

_ When this all happened and the streets were filled with chaos I went to my Ma’s place to make sure she was alright. It was to late though. Half her building was crawling with those **things**. I grabbed a metal pipe from the side of the building just to fight my way to her door. Thankfully unbitten. _

 

_ Once I got to her door I found it open. I was terrified of what I might find, and I should have been. Not to be mean or anything but Steve is lucky his Ma and Paw passed long before this happened. What I saw… I never wanted to see anything like that ever. _

 

_ The kitchen was covered in blood, I followed the groaning from her apartment. It seemed her neighbor tried to come over and help but only ended up being dinner on the floor… My Ma… She was bent over her neighbor with another one of those **things** and they were just… ~~They were devouring her.~~ It was horrible. _

_ I did what I had to do… I smashed it’s head in.. Then the neighbors.. Then...My Ma she.. She tried to come after me. I had to do it. I smashed her head in until she stopped moving. ~~I was crying while doing it of course.~~ ~~How could I not?~~ I saw the necklace hanging off her neck and just yanked it off and ran. I knew I had to get out of there before anything else came in… _

 

_ Back to the highway now. It was a bad idea to be looking at the picture of Steve while walking in an area like this. I straight up bumped into one of those things. I hit it full on! I was terrified it was so close to me. But thankfully I’m faster than some undead piece of meat. I pulled out my gun and shot it point blank. _

 

_ But that was a bad idea. Should’ve used my knife. Before I knew it I had a horde chasing after me. I ran for a full day straight to get to this tree. It has been about three days of sitting here trying to organize my thoughts, thankfully my bag has food and water in it. But I need to get down soon. I need to get to D.C. got to find Steve. _

 

_ I’m coming to find you Stevie, just you wait.’ _

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky shut his notebook and put it back into his bag. The few standing at the bottom of the tree  got bored, or hungry, or whatever the hell they do and finally left. Slinging his bag over his shoulders Bucky jumped down onto the branch below, and the next, and the next, until he was off the tree and on the ground.

 

Looking around Bucky made sure he was in the clear before taking off down the highway. He was determined to make it to his Paw’s house tonight no matter how many distractions he got. He had to make it just in case Steve was already there and waiting for him.

 

Not even a mile into his walk and he started to hear soft whining. He went to grab for his gun but stopped… Zombies don’t.. Whine… Slowly Bucky peered around the car that he heard the whining from and he saw a small black lab laying in the street.

 

Slowly he approached the dog holding out his hand. The dog cautiously sniffed it before giving him a lick. “Hey little guy.. You must be hungry.”

 

Looking around Bucky made sure there was nothing around before kneeling down and pulling out some bread for the dog to eat. “Here you go little guy. Eat up.” A smile came to Bucky’s lips seeing the small dog eating hungrily at the bread he pulled out.

 

“I bet Steve would really like you, he always did want a dog." Standing up he started to tuck the ends of his jacket and shirt into his pants. "I'm gonna call you Crook, 'cause you got a cute little crooked smile." Kneeling down he cautiously reached for the puppy. Careful not to hurt him Bucky unzipped his jacket putting the puppy inside. Zipping it up more than halfway that way he could run and the dog would be secure he grabbed his bag and started off once more.

 

“Come on Crook.. Let’s go find Steve.”

 

Bucky kept low but walked fast down the highway until finally, finally he got to the sign saying ‘Welcome to Washington D.C.’. Now it was only a few more miles until he got to his Paw’s place. But it seemed like that may be a problem. He knew D.C. had a high population but this was ridiculous. There were so many, sure he knew some shortcuts but they would be pointless with the amount of undead here. He didn't care how long it took to get there but he had to get there safe, and human.

 

Reaching into his jacket he pet Crook to keep him calm. That’s when he noticed all the undead were crowded around something, no… Someone. In the middle of the horde were several mangled bodies, he wished he could’ve helped but it was to late now. “I’m sorry” Bucky mumbled as he slowly maneuvered his way around the horde.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Bucky’s Journal: Entry 4 _

 

_ ‘In this type of world you can’t give anything a second thought. You hesitate to shoot? You’re dead. You stop to think which way to turn instead of doing it? You’re dead. You can’t afford to waste anything. Save every drop of water, every crumb of food, because you never know when you’ll find more. _

 

_ I’m just glad my Paw was hoarding ~~food~~ everything. He was always paranoid about the end of the world. That’s exactly why we’re going to his special place in D.C. it's covered by a twelve inch thick, ten foot tall black wall. ~~As a kid he told me he made it black to soak up more heat from the sun, something about power for the house and hot water I never really listened to him.~~ There's a gate surrounding the wall with spikes at the top of it ~~sometimes I think he was to paranoid.~~ His windows are barred as well as the doors. _

 

_ He was real paranoid before he passed. I’m actually glad for it because now I can keep Steve safe or.. I could’ve if we hadn’t been separated. _

 

_ Paw used to bring us there as kids. He had his own power system and weapons. Filterin’ his own water and air. He was prepared for everything.’ _

 

* * *

 

  
  


Bucky had rounded the corner to his father’s home and froze. The large driveway and yard were covered in the undead. “Fuck.” He muttered softly. “We’re gonna have to hop the fence Crook.” He muttered to the dog, but it was more to keep himself calm.

 

Looking up at the large fence Bucky took a deep breath and grabbed the bars. “Sorry Crook, you might get squished up a bit. Try and keep quiet for me.”

 

Pushing himself up Bucky kept one foot against the bars and the other through the gate and against the wall. Gripping as tightly as he could it took him a while and a few tries but he managed to get over the fence without attracting to much attention. Or impaling himself on a spike.

 

“I hope they’ll be gone by the time Steve gets here… And he better.”

 

Pulling a key from around his neck Bucky opened the door a smile coming to his lips. “Finally…. Safe….”

 

Shutting the door, and locking it. Bucky put Crook down on the floor and went to find a bowl for his food and water. His father used to have a dog, and even if the food was stale for him it was still food.. Filling both bowls he pet the dog softly. “He’ll show up buddy… If he doesn’t I’ll kill him myself.” Bucky let out a sad laugh before standing up to go explore the large home.

 

Little did he know what Steve was about to go through.

 

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3: I Was So Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's POV

_ Chapter three:  _ _ I Was So Close _

 

**Steve’s Point Of View**

 

“Bucky” Steve groaned out. “Bucky… Bucky!” He shot up his eyes scanning around quickly. Panting heavily a groan escaped his lips as he wiped sweat from his forehead. 

 

“Get it together Steve it was just a dream.. He’s fine.."

 

"I hope..” Sighing softly Steve begun to gather his things into his bag, his nightmare had attracted some unwanted attention.

 

Since the Laura incident almost a week ago, Steve had gotten quite far despite all the detours and undead in his way. He was only about sixty miles outside of Washington D.C. he was almost there.

 

“I’ll be there soon Buck… I promise…”

 

* * *

 

 

_ Steve’s Journal: Entry 6 _

 

_ ‘When I had left the Bell Tower Church everything was fine. I got at least ten miles out before I hit the highway. I knew there I wouldn’t be safe. There was no cover and plenty of broken down cars and don't even get me started on the bodies. Number one rule I learned during this time… Never go into the woods unless it's life or death, because it could just be your death. _

 

_ I got a good distance onto the highway before anything happened. First of all let me tell you what the highway looked like. It’s your typical highway except all the cars with doors ajar or hoods up, even some are facing the wrong direction. So pretty much its like what you'd see in those horror movies, except a lot worse because it's actually real. It’s hard to see past the hoods or trunks, and if you come to a truck that’s the worst. Anything could be around it, or inside of it. I don’t even want to get started on the mangled bodies laying around half eaten that you have to walk over. Ugh and the guts.. ~~That stuff is hard to get off your boots.~~ _

 

_ I was being very careful not to touch any of the car doors or anything so none of the alarms would sound. I didn’t want anyone to hear me, alive or not. You can’t trust the living either, half the time they try to steal your food. The other half... Your body... ~~That's putting it nicely.~~ I managed to get past a few of the undead without being seen. _

 

_ I had found a sword in one of the buildings I went through a few days back. It has been real nice to have when you sneak up on one of those bastards and don’t want to waste a bullet, and knives are to short. God knows I hate getting close to those things, especially the Mutts. The smell alone could kill me. ~~I mean not really but its horrible.~~ _

 

_ Anyway I was doing good so far, until I stopped looking down. I was trying my hardest not to make a noise, there were a few of them piled around a body  _ ~~_having their lunch together. :) Buck is gonna like that joke._ ~~ _ I moved around a few cars but didn’t pay attention to the ground. _

 

_ Until I made a loud crunch. I wound up stepping on the remains of what could’ve been a woman. ~~And let me tell you it was disgusting. What was left of her body just sort of mushed in and I left a trail of it.~~ I wasn’t paying much attention because I took off running from them. I just wanted to find Bucky, I hope he wasn’t having it as bad as I was, or any worse. _

 

_ I made a mistake in running I really did. I bumped into a few cars and set off their alarms. ~~Buck always did say I was a klutz.~~  It only attracted more of them from god knows where. It only got worse from there. It went from being about five of them to what seemed more like five hundred now. _

 

_ I was terrified, and then I fell. I fell over someone's remains. All I could think of was I was about to die and Buck would be all alone. I’d be a rotting corpse on a highway and **Bucky.... Would be.... All.... Alone**. I couldn’t let that happen. _

 

_ I pushed myself up and took off running, but not far. I couldn’t keep going in the heat of the day, when their smell was so bad it made me want to vomit worse then when I was younger and couldn’t get over my colds. _

 

_ I slid under a car and prayed to anyone who would listen that they not find me. My backpack lay heavy on my back, the sword on my hip, and the gun tight in my hand. I tried my hardest to control my breathing. If even one of them heard me it was all over.’ _

 

* * *

 

 

Steve had been walking on little sleep and no food. But he couldn’t stop now. Not when he was so close to Washington. Not when he was so close to Bucky. Or so he hoped.

 

Of course there would always be something in his way. On the last strip of highway that lead him to Washington there were about fifteen of the Mutts limping about around cars and trucks. Steve knew he couldn’t take them all maybe one or two if he was lucky, but he wasn’t and he was almost out of bullets. Steve had a few options.

 

Option one. He try to be as quiet as possible and hope he didn’t get caught, which with his luck seemed almost impossible.

 

Option two: He make a distraction while he goes around them. He could throw something onto the other side of the highway that makes a lot of noise. That way anything around him will pay attention to it and not him, and the few stragglers who saw him could be easily taken care of.

 

Option three: Steve could be a complete idiot and try to take them on. Not his best chance and he knew the survival rate is low. But he has to hurry before he gets caught.

 

Steve decided to go with his second option. It seemed like the best to him and it had a higher survival rate than the other two. Pulling off his bag Steve dug around until he found just what he was looking for. He knows it was dumb to keep a child's toy in his bag but he found and thought if he managed to get to the camp in Chicago he could give it to Lila. So he didn’t want to part with it.

 

In his hands was a wind up monkey, the ones with the cymbals. It was obnoxiously loud and he knew it would cause a distraction. Winding it up as far as it would go Steve threw it to the other side of the highway. He mentally apologized to Lila for throwing away her gift.

 

The second it hit the ground Steve hid behind a car door as the monkey begun to bang the cymbals together. It was the best choice as the Mutts limped towards the noise.

 

Quickly Steve took off careful not to make any extra noise or draw attention to himself. Making his way around cars and the remains that lay scattered across the highway he noticed a sign saying twenty miles until Washington. His face lit up, he was so close now.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Steve’s Journal: Entry 7 _

 

_ ‘I was thankful not a soul heard me. The moment they passed I slid out from under the car and took off down the stretch of highway left to get me to Washington. Maybe once I find Bucky he’ll have some survivors with him and we can all travel to the camp together. Or maybe we’ll find some along the way. _

 

_ Whatever happens I just hope everything turns out better than it is now. I know that it will.  _ ~~_Whenever I’m with Bucky everything turns out alright._ ~~

 

_ The nights are cold and the mornings are hot. _

_ The nights are dark and the mornings are bright. _

_ Not a single soul sleeps at night. _

_ Not a single soul rests in the light. _

 

_ I’ve taken up to writing poems, even if they aren’t good. I prefer drawing but even then I need something else to distract my mind.  _ ~~_Besides thoughts of finding Bucky._ ~~ _  Sometimes when I manage to sleep I have these dreams. Dreams of what it would be like if this never happened. _

 

_ I wish I could go back, I’d do things so differently if I knew this was going to happen. Not only would I prepare for it but… I would’ve told him. I should’ve told him. I should have taken his hand that night and said we aren’t going out. I should have sat him down and told him how I felt, even if it ruined everything between us. _

 

_ I wish we hadn’t been separated.  _

 

_ I wish…  _

 

_ I wish that I could just have told him. _

 

_ But those things wont happen. For now I just have to focus on finding him at least.’ _

 

* * *

 

 

Only twenty miles left he could do this. 

No he had to do it.

His legs burnt, he was sure his arms were sun burnt, his stomach was cramping having not had food for three days. The only thing that kept him going was the thought of Bucky being all alone waiting for him.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve was just about to enter D.C. when he stopped completely. Tears begun to build in his eyes when he saw it. He was so close. So close to Bucky! In front of him just wandering the streets had to be at least fifty of the ugliest Mutts. There was no way he could get around them without being noticed. But he had to.

For Bucky. 

 

The problem is… He doesn’t know how. Steve took a deep breath. Maybe if he ran fast enough he could… No that’s a horrible idea and the chance of survival is to low. He doesn’t wanna risk it.

 

Maybe if he just… 

 

Quickly Steve ducked down as he heard heavy footsteps. What he saw he could only thank whomever was watching over him for it. There was a woman running straight through the horde as fast as she could.

 

Of course he wanted to help her but he knew it was a lost cause. But thankfully it got the attention of most of them. Quickly with out a second thought Steve got up and ran down the road as fast as he could. He made it down a few streets before the noise of his boots attracted attention. “No.. No please no not when I'm so close.”

 

He couldn’t spare a second glance, the numbers were only growing. And he wasn’t even near the house yet. But he had to keep going, it was that or die. Turning the corner he quickly took another right to avoid more of them. “Buck.. I’m coming.”

 

* * *

 

 

Running up to the house Steve’s worst fear came true. Not only was there a horde quickly approaching behind him but there were at least twenty of them in front of him on the lawn. Looking around quickly Steve ran over to one of the large oak trees. He was never the best at climbing but he had to do it. 

 

It was life or death.

 

Getting up as high as he could Steve let tears trickle down his cheeks. This was it. Now he would never get to see Bucky again. Except…

 

Except there was a light on inside. 

A light!

 

Bucky was there! He was inside waiting for Steve! ”BU-!” Steve covered his mouth quickly. If he yelled for Bucky it would only attract more of them. That would only make it impossible for Bucky to rescue him. 

 

But how would he now anyway? There was between at least seventy below him and there was no way Bucky could take out that many on his own. Clinging to the tree Steve closed his eyes tightly. He was so close. So fucking close and yet Bucky was so far away! If only Bucky would look outside. 

 

“I love you…” Steve whispered to himself. Bucky couldn’t hear him anyway, and it seemed like there was no way to get out of this one. It looked like the end for him…. Or is it?

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Steve gonna be ok? Is he going to make it? Who knows... Oh wait... I do! Haha! Well it'll probably be on here tomorrow since I seem to be putting up two chapters a day.
> 
> Oh and did you like my lame poem?


	4. Chapter 4: Steve.... Is It Really You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't accidentally skip the third chapter because I put this one up almost right after.

_Chapter Four: Steve...Is It Really You? _

 

**Bucky’s Point Of View**

 

He had taken a walk through the large house making sure everything was secure. Crook following him the whole way excitedly. “This will be my room. Though Steve and I might share it. When we were kids whenever we got scared we’d sleep in each other's bed. I don’t think I could be without him again. I’d be to scared to wake up and he not be there.”

 

A groan escaped Bucky’s lips. “Look at me.. Talking to a dog..” He smiled reaching down to pet Crook with his real arm. “But you don't judge and you’re a good listener.”

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky’s father’s house was beyond large. It was three storys tall with two more storys in the basement. The roof was more like castle walls. It had cement walls with windowless windows so if need be one could shoot someone down from it.

 

The first story had the living room, kitchen, dining area, what a typical household would have.

The second story has four bedrooms on the left side. Each has its own bathroom and shower. On the right side is various rooms. One of the rooms is a study, the other is a small sitting room with several bookshelves. The third room is a stock room about the size of three master bedrooms. It is full of toilet paper, tissues, dry and canned foods, extra clothing, towels, it had almost everything stuffed inside. The fourth room on the second floor is locked. Neither of the boys have ever been allowed to go in. At the end of the hallway is another locked door, but it is painted black unlike the other white doors.

 

On the third floor is the weapons stock, a bigger food stock, the power system, and air filtration. Bucky’s father had it all set out.

 

The basement was like a separate miniature underground home modeled after the upper floors. It was in case of tornadoes, earthquakes, or any natural disaster. It was essentially a safe room.

 

* * *

 

 

While walking the house Bucky started to hear the groaning growing louder and louder outside. “I guess they found out I’m here, huh Crook?”

 

“Where’d you go boy?” Bucky looked around before he heard Crook barking from downstairs. That’s when he heard a voice, or he thought he did. Walking over to the hall window of the second floor Bucky peered out. He froze at what he saw. “Steve!”

 

His breathing grew rapid as fear overtook him. Below Steve was a still growing horde of zombies. Opening the window Bucky used his metal arm to break off the bars. It was the second story and even if they did make it over the wall, it’s not like they could climb anyway. “Steve!” Bucky called out shaking in fear. He wouldn’t let his best pal die when they were so close to being together.

 

Opening his eyes Steve had a bright smile come to his face, it was the most beautiful thing Bucky had ever seen. “Buck! Buck I’m.. I’m sorry. I couldn’t make it.” Steve has tears streaming down his cheeks but kept up his smile. Bucky hadn’t seen him like that since his Ma passed a while back.

 

“No.. No don’t say that Stevie look you made it. You’re here, alright? All you gotta do is listen to me, please?” Steve nodded gripping the tree tighter. “Can you get onto the branch across from you? I promise you’re safe. I’m not gonna let you get hurt not when you're so close.”

 

Steve looked uncertain but he trusted Bucky he always did, and would. Climbing over to the branch that hung over the fence he gripped the tree as tight as he could. “N-N-Now what Buck?”

 

“Now you just got to relax Stevie alright? You gotta trust me on this one. I need you to jump.” Steve looked terrified.

 

“JUMP!? You want me to jump!?”

 

“Stevie.. Please Steve trust me. I wont let you get hurt. I’m gonna catch you I promise you. Just hold out your arms for me and jump as far as you can. I will not let you fall!”

 

Steve took a deep shaky breath before moving to the edge of the branch. “You let me fall and I’ll hate you for the rest of my life.”

 

Bucky let out a soft laugh. “I wont. I’ll never let you fall Steve trust me.” He smiled and leaned out the window holding out his hands. “Just trust me and jump.”

 

Steve was hesitant as he put his feet on the branch listening to it crack as he walked to the edge. “Steve you have to jump now! It’s gonna break!”

 

As the cracking grew louder Steve jumped holding out his arms. “STEVE!”

 

* * *

 

 

Steve had closed his eyes before jumping, the same time the branch broke too. Bucky was terrified he wasn’t going to make it he watched as his best friends feet slipped. But Steve always pulls through, and at the last second their hands touched. Bucky clamped his metal hand around Steve’s and held on for dear life.

 

“Stevie look! Look you’re alright. Open your eyes please.” Steve slowly opened his eyes. His other hand quickly coming up to grab onto Bucky’s. “I’ve got you Stevie. I’m not letting go I promise.”

 

It took a few minutes but Bucky managed to pull Steve into the house. Steve fell on top of Bucky clinging to him. He began to sob into Bucky’s shirt gripping him tightly. “Shh it’s alright Steve I’ve got you. Let it all out.”

 

Bucky may have been putting on a strong face but tears were swelling in his eyes as well. He had missed Steve so much. Hearing Steve whisper his name through the tears made his own dam break. Suddenly the two were a crying mess clinging to each other on the hallway floor.

 

“Bucky!”

“Steve!”

 

The two were sniffling wetting each others shirts with their tears. “I’m so sorry Stevie. I should have…. Should’ve never lost sight of you. I.. I.. I should’ve grabbed your hand the second it all went crazy. Should’a ran here together.” He was trying to calm his breathing while rubbing small circles on Steve’s back.

 

“B-Bucky! Bucky I hate you! I-I hate you!” He was shaking in the others arms.

 

“No you don’t.. You could never hate me.” They both went silent until they broke out in laughter. Reaching up Bucky wiped away Steve’s tears. Steve looking into Bucky’s eyes a blush coming to his cheeks. Slowly Steve got up helping the other up.

 

“Bucky… I’ve missed you. I.. I almost died far to many times without you.”

 

Bucky shook his head putting his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna let you die Steve.. You’re with me until the end of the line remember? I’m not letting you get off this train just yet.” The two smiled at each other before Bucky reached over to shut the window.

 

“You hungry? This place is stocked!”

 

Steve laughed nodding. “Starving. I haven’t eaten in three days.”

 

Rubbing at his eyes Bucky then weakly punched Steve in the shoulder. "Come on then Punk lets get you something to eat."

"What ever you say Jerk."

 

* * *

 

 

Taking Steve downstairs he sat him on the couch while going to make chicken noodle soup the way his mother used to when they were both sick or upset.

Being as hungry as he was Steve ate most of it. "Mmm remember when we were both kids and your Paw brought us here to show us around for the first time?"

 

Bucky was leaning against the counter eating his bowl of soup. Of course he remembered they had been so excited to finally be allowed in on Paw's secret. "Yeah.. Yeah I remember him telling us it would all be ours one day. He made sure we grew up knowing everything about his place and how to do maintenance on it."

 

"Yeah and if we didn't learn fast enough we didn't get to come back for a mon-." Steve stopped as he heard barking coming from upstairs. "You have a dog?!"

 

Bucky’s face lit up once more. “Yeah I found him! Thought you’d love to have him around. His name is Crook.” Bucky nudged the food bowl which sent Crook running into the kitchen. Kneeling down Bucky picked up the pup.

 

“Crook this is Steve.” He held out the small puppy which Steve took excitedly.

 

“He’s so cute Buck!” A yawn escaped Steve’s lips as he set the dog down in his lap.

 

“Tired? Me too. Hey… Would..Would you mind if we shared a bed?”

 

Steve laughed softly looking to Bucky with tired eyes. “I was gonna ask you that. I’m scared I’ll wake up in the morning and it’ll all just be a dream.” Bucky’s smile dropped as he walked over holding out his hand.

 

“Come on gimme your bag. The room is upstairs. Shower in the morning, I don’t think you have enough energy for that right now.”

 

Steve nodded and gave up his bag to hold the dog instead. Slowly Bucky lead him upstairs and into their room. The second Steve hit the mattress he was asleep. It gave Bucky time to write in his journal.

 

* * *

 

 

_Bucky’s Journal: Entry 5_

 

_‘It happened today! Not only did I arrive at the house this very morning but less than an hour ago Steve showed up. Don’t have a clue how he made it here in the dark and I’m to scared to ask._

 

_I found him outside in a tree surrounded by a horde of zombies. It terrified me to see him like that. I thought he was going to die and all I could think of was he needed to jump. No matter what I would catch him I had to._

 

_And I did._

 

_Now that I have him I’ll never let Steve go. I don’t want to lose him again._ ~~_Steve is my everything and I can’t give that up again._ ~~ _Steve is to important to me, he’s my best pal.'_

 

* * *

 

Shutting his journal Bucky quietly got up to put it away. Grabbing Steve's bag as well he went to put it on the other side of the room. But curiosity won him over, it always did. Steve hasn't eaten in three days yet his bag was pretty heavy. Taking a glance at Steve he quietly opened up the backpack. As quietly as he could Bucky emptied it out onto the floor.

Inside Steve had his sword hanging out, several shirts, water, a few bullets, knives, a gun, two jackets, a blanket, and a journal. Quietly Bucky put everything but the journal back he always was to nosy for his own good. "Lets see what you got yourself into without me Stevie."

 

Nervously Bucky opened to the first page.... To say he was shocked would be an understatement. Sure he had hoped Steve felt the same way about him. But to actually read that Steve was in love with him and it wasn't just a recent development but since they were kids. Kids! Not only was he shocked but he was extremely happy. Finally he could tell Steve how he felt with out fear of rejection. Steve could finally be his but....

 

Steve went through so much with out him. He was alone for so long and when he finally found someone... He had to shoot her in front of her daughter. Maybe he could tease Steve a little first, they both definitely needed something to lighten the mood. A little flirting never hurt anyone and by anyone he meant Steve. He should know he's done it often enough.

 

Shutting Steve's journal Bucky decided he would play a game. See how long Steve could take his flirting before he cracked. He was still floored though. All these years and their feelings had been the same yet they were both to oblivious to see it.

 

* * *

 

 

_Bucky’s Journal: Entry 6_

 

_"Screw getting back to my story I just found out something.. Something completely shocking. I mean it was probably. No it was definitely wrong of me but I couldn't help it. I looked through Steve's bag and found a journal. I then proceeded to read said journal and... What I found out. Oh yeah it was completely worth poking around his stuff._

_All these years of pining after Steve and thinking he could never want me that way.. He feels the same way about me. He wrote about being in love with me since we were kids, how the hell did I never see it?! Well.. They do say love is blind. But that must mean Steve can't see worth shit because I've wanted him since what feels like forever. I feel like we're the biggest idiots in the world. Neither of us had a clue, god we're dumb! ~~I think someone upstairs just loves messing with us Stevie.~~ _

 

_I wanna play a game with him now. Flirt with him until he cracks. Maybe then he'll finally realize how I feel about him. But I want to see him crack. To finally act on it or tell me. It probably sounds a little mean but.. Well the mood needs to be lighter around here anyway so why not? God I sound like a dick. I just want him to realize how I feel about him, but I don't want to tell him. I'd chicken out half way though trust me on that. I just.... Ugh I need to get some sleep!'_

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky closed his journal and put Steve’s away. It has been a long time since he has slept on a mattress and even longer since hes been next to Steve. He’s gonna enjoy this. Curling one arm around Steve, Bucky had a bright smile on his lips as he pulled the covers over them. His smile didn’t fade as he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5: Bucky I...I...I lo-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's POV for most of this chapter. Then some Bucky POV with some small, very small sexual content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this chapter on FF .net well this one has some major changes.
> 
> I feel like the beginning of this chapter seems pretty bad, but then it definitely gets better.

_Chapter Five: Bucky I… I...I lo- _

 

**Steve’s Point Of View**

 

_Steve’s Journal: Entry 8_

 

 _‘I managed to get to the house last night but not without trouble. I was followed by about eighty of those disgusting creatures. Thankfully after climbing in a tree Bucky managed to see me. He wouldn’t have known I was there without Crook, that’s the dog he found by the way….. He found it for me._ ~~_God I love him._ ~~

 

_I was terrified in that tree. But I trusted Bucky and jumped from the branch. Of course he caught me I didn’t doubt him ~~I mean I did a little but he managed to catch me so~~... I cried against him for a while. It was embarrassing until I felt him crying too. _

_I couldn’t help it I missed him so much and to see him alive and unhurt… I couldn’t stop the tears. They weren’t even from almost dying they were from seeing Bucky alive and well._ ~~_He means everything to me._ ~~ _’_

 

* * *

 

  


Steve woke up alone in the bed. At first he was terrified that it had all been a dream, but then how would he have gotten to the bed? Then he thought maybe he dreamed Bucky was alive. But then how would he have gotten inside? His thoughts were interrupted as the door opened.

 

Bucky walked in in his.. In his boxers. That sent a deep blush to Steve’s cheeks. It’s not like he hadn’t seen Bucky naked before or anything it’s just… It has been so long and Bucky has changed so much.

 

“Morning Stevie I brought up breakfast. Thought you might be to tired to move your lazy butt.” Steve smiled sitting up slowly. Bucky had made eggs, toast, bacon, sausage, everything Steve loved.

 

“Morning Buck. God I feel great after sleeping on a mattress again.” Steve stretched out a yawn escaping his lips. Bucky climbed onto the bed and sat next to Steve, the tray between them.

 

“Well let’s eat up. You need a shower I bet. I took one yesterday after making sure the house was secure, and let me tell you.. The water pressure here, it's amazing. Honestly I've never felt better.”

 

Steve nodded listening to Bucky while he dug into the breakfast. A moan escaped his lips as he took a bite of the hot food. “God this is great Buck!” Bucky just smiled as he watched Steve eat happily.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been a while since anything was even close to normal for either of them. But this.. Being in this home. Being safe. It was something they had to get used to all over again. Each little noise made them both jump and reach for their guns. Steve didn’t even care if they did get attacked, as long as he still had Bucky with him.

 

After a nice long hot shower Steve was sitting on the couch with Bucky. His head against the others arm as he held Crook in his lap. “Buck… I was thinking about something while in the shower.” Bucky looked over his hand frozen in Steve’s hair. It was a habit that helped them both relax.

 

“I was thinking about this camp near Chicago. I heard it was pretty secure and not a single dead were able to get in. Do you think… Maybe we could go there? Together?”

 

Bucky smiled letting his fingers run through Steve’s hair again. “Yeah Steve.. Anywhere you wanna go. Anywhere you wanna look for help. I’ll go with you. I’m not leaving you again Steve. Ever, I promise.”

 

Steve smiled snuggling closer to Bucky. That’s when Bucky decided to start teasing.

 

"You know Stevie.. Just sittin' here with you reminds me how we're not gonna' be able to go on dates with pretty gals anymore. But then again seeing you curled up like this you look so adorable. Better than any gal I've laid my eyes on." Wrapping his arm around Steve, Bucky slowly trailed his fingers up and down his arm. He loved that Steve instinctively leaned back against him, and the way Steve blushed from the collar of his shirt to the tip of his ears. He wondered how far down that blush really went.

 

"B-Bucky! I-I'm not... Shut up." Steve looked away as he felt his cheeks heat up. Shivering at the touch he leaned back against his best friend, purposely looking else were.

 

"Aww come on Stevie don't deny it. You gotta' know how good you look." Slowly he ran his hand from Steve's arm to his chest. But he didn't move it, just held it there feeling the beat of his heart. "Nervous?"

 

"Buck stop it!" Steve quickly pushed him away scooting to the other end of the couch. " Just.. Stop. Its not funny anymore."

 

"Aww come on Stevie I didn't mean any harm."

 

When Steve didn't answer Bucky tried moving closer. "Steve... Come on I'm sorry I was just messing with you. Thought you'd find it funny."

 

"Yeah well.. I don't." When he didn't offer anymore Bucky stood up in front of him.

 

"Steve listen.. I'm sorry alright? Thought it would lighten things up around here. I'm sorry really... Forgive me?"

 

Looking up he looked towards the kitchen before nodding. "Fine.. I forgive you." Standing up he put Crook down before he knocked into Bucky's shoulder a small smile coming to his lips. "Come on I think the kitchen is in need of a good scrub. We can do it how we used to. You wash I dry. Yeah?"

 

"Yeah Stevie.. Just like the good ole' days."

 

The two did the dishes side by side. They didn't want to use anymore water than necessary so they chose not to use the dishwasher. As Bucky washed and Steve dried the room fell into a comfortable silence that was until..

 

"Bucky!" Steve cried out immediately dropping what he was doing and going to his side. Looking down Bucky let a deep scowl coming to his face as he saw the knife embedded between the plates on his hand.

 

"You need to be more careful Buck. I don't think there's a mechanic around to fix up those wires if you brake anything, and I don't think I should be poking around in there." Carefully Steve took the metal hand into his and slowly removed the knife. He knew how much Bucky hated his arm. But yet he never once blamed Steve for it, even though he constantly blamed himself.

 

* * *

 

It had been a boring summer afternoon when Steve had the idea to go exploring around a construction site near by. If they had been a little more cautious about where they were stepping it probably wouldn't have happened. But both boys were having fun and being reckless. They had gotten six storys up when Bucky lost his footing on a piece of plywood. He had fallen straight through down to the ground. Along the way his arm slammed into hanging metal cutting through his skin. By the time he landed on it his bone was already poking out.

 

It terrified Steve even worse that he was now during the apocalypse. He thought Bucky had died. Every time Steve called his name he got no response, and by the time he got down to him he was covered in blood unconscious. He immediately called for an ambulance, but he still couldn't get Bucky to respond.

 

By the time everything was sorted out the doctors had been unable to save Bucky's arm. Steve knew it was all his fault he was the one who suggested going to the construction site after all, and he was the one who didn't move fast enough to catch his best friend.

 

Of course they were able to give Bucky a replacement for his arm but it took several before they found a good one. The first one didn't move right, the second one didn't move at all. By the time they got past ten they finally found a good match. Bucky absolutely hated it and even tried ripping it off several times. The only reason he stopped was because of Steve, because he knew he could protect him better with his new arm. But he still hated it. It looked absolutely nothing like an arm should. For starters it was metal that got him plenty of stares, he hated the look of pity in their eyes.

 

After Bucky was released from the hospital Steve spent every night for a month at Bucky's house trying to help him adjust and become comfortable with his arm. He kept insisting it was his fault but Bucky never once blamed him and continuously told him it wasn't. He tried everything to make Bucky like his new arm, but nothing worked. He would hold it and trace the patterns of the plates, he tried telling Bucky how cool it made him look. But nothing worked. Sometimes he would paint it while Bucky slept so he would wake up to a new design in the morning, though the paint never stayed on long so he continuously redid it.

 

It did help though since soon Bucky got used to having it around, but he still hated it. He just stopped trying to rip it off every chance he got. Every time he caught Steve staring he would tell him it wasn't his fault, that he knew Steve would have caught him if he could. But it didn't help he still felt responsible.

 

* * *

 

"Sorry." Bucky mumbled trying to pull his hand away. But Steve gripped it tightly rubbing circles with his thumb, though he knew Bucky couldn't feel it.

 

"Hey Buck... Buck don't be like that please." When he got no response he slowly let go. When this happened he knew Bucky would be like this for a while. "I'll let you finish up here alright? I'm just... Gonna head upstairs."

 

When he got no response Steve put down his rag and went upstairs to their bedroom. He hated when Bucky got like this he always felt like it was his fault. Reaching over to grab his bag Steve pulled out his journal.

 

* * *

 

 

_Steve’s Journal: Entry 9_

 

_'Being back with Bucky is like being home again. I feel... I feel safe but.. Every home has their problems, has things going wrong._

 

_I hate when things go wrong._

 

_Buck and I were washing dishes just like old times, him washing and I dry. Except.. A knife got stuck in the plating on his metal arm, that's why I usually wash.. Oh yeah did I mention he has a metal arm? That's probably a big thing. It happened a long time ago. I'll write about that some other time._

 

_Anyway..._

 

_Buck got real quiet and was just sort of staring at it. It hurt me to see him like that, it does every time. It's because I know that he's remember how he'll never again feel anything with that hand. How inhuman it is._

 

_He wont even let me take the blame for it'_

 

* * *

 

 

Steve stopped writing when he spotted something smudged against the pages of his journal. It looked almost like the plating on Bucky’s fingers but no.. Bucky wouldn’t have gone through his thing.. Would he?

 

Shaking off that thought Steve put his journal back in his bag. But then another came to mind. Maybe Bucky had his own journal he could find it and see.. No. No he couldn't. He didn't want to spy on Bucky like that. But.. Maybe just a peak of what he has in his bag wouldn't hurt.

 

Peaking out the door he made sure Bucky wasn't coming before pulling his bag over to the bed. "Sorry Buck." He mumbled before dumping the contents onto the bed. What was inside was.. Surprising.

 

Sure it had some of the same things Steve did a blanket, extra clothing, water. But what Bucky also had was pictures. Not just random ones either, he had pictures of him and Steve and a lot of them. Pictures ranging from when they were kids to just a few weeks before all this happened.

 

One by one Steve looked at all of them. He counted ninety-eight in total. Picking out his favorites he wanted to memorize every detail, just in case he never saw them again. 

 

* * *

 

 

_Steve’s Journal: Entry 10_

 

_'I guess I got a bit curious and went through Bucky's stuff. I know it wasn't right but I just couldn't help myself and.. His bag was full of pictures of us. I'm talking a lot of pictures ninety-eight to be exact. He had some of my favorites too._

 

_There's the one where Bucky has me wrapped in his arm, we're both smiling like idiots. I got a black eye and bloody nose and his shirt is ripped in the most random of places. We got into a fight in the alley well.. I did but Buck always shows up. His ma took that picture of us. She used it as an example for the other kids on why they shouldn't get into fights. But I remember Buck stole it from her sayin' he liked the way I smiled in it._

 

_There's another where I'm about ten and Bucky's sitting beside me in the hospital. My ma is asleep on a chair in the back of the photo but so am I in the bed. He has this worried look on his face.. It was one of the times nobody thought I was gonna make it. I like it though, he has such emotion in his eyes it's.. It's nice._

 

_I got a few more that I love but those two really stand out to me. It means a lot to me that he kept these..'_

 

* * *

 

 

Putting everything back into Bucky's backpack Steve left the room in search of Bucky. "Buck?" He found him downstairs still standing next to the sink. "Hey..." He slowly walked over letting his hand slide over Bucky's metal one. "Buck?" As soon as Steve's hand covered the metal Bucky snapped from his thoughts looking up at Steve.

 

"S-Sorry pal I.. I'm sorry." Steve smiled looking down at their hands.

 

"It's fine Buck. You just worried me is all.. Why don't you let me finish up here and you go nap or shower, or what ever alright?"

 

Bucky nodded letting a sigh escape his lips. "I.. Yeah I guess a shower sounds nice." Slowly he pulled his hand back as he headed towards the stairs. "I wont take to long. How 'bout we watch a movie after?"

 

"Sounds great Buck, I'll pick something good." Smiling to himself he turned to the sink to begin working on the dishes. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Bucky’s Point Of View**

 

Walking into the bedroom Bucky noticed Steve's journal on the bed, a smiling slowly coming to his lips. Had Steve been writing about him again? Reaching out for it he quickly stopped himself. He couldn't keep betraying Steve's trust like this.

 

But he couldn't help himself he needed to know. Opening Steve's journal Bucky flicked to the new pages. His smile fading as he read about Steve blaming himself for his arm. But it quickly came back, as well as a blush, as he read about Steve looking at the pictures he carried around. He couldn't help it those pictures meant everything to him. They reminded him of better times.

 

Shutting Steve's journal Bucky placed it back where he found it before making sure the door was locked. "He's gonna drive me insane.." He spoke to himself as he walked into the bathroom. "I have to tell him I mean.. This is getting a little ridiculous." Smiling to himself Bucky thought of what it could be like for them to be together as he stripped down for his shower.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**\---Sort of (not really) sexual situation warning!!!---**

 

Stepping under the spray of hot water a loud groan left Bucky's lips. He was glad his arm was waterproof of this would have only made his mood a lot worse.

 

Running his fingers through his hair Bucky's thoughts couldn't be drawn away from Steve. How his delectable, not little at all, bubble butt bounced with each step. The way he licks his full pink lips. But the best had t be the way he called out for Bucky in his sleep, so soft, so sweet. That alone could make Bucky, or anyone else hard in a second, and Steve had no idea he did any of this.

 

Groaning Bucky leaned his head back against the tiles. He should have kept his thoughts off Steve. He really didn't want to waste anymore water than he had to, it took energy for it to be filtered and ran through the heater again. But he didn't want to tell Steve not to come into the room while he masturbates. Bucky let out a huff of laughter, he could see how that conversation went down.

 

He'd ask Steve not to come in and of course being Steve he'd get curious and either ask why or walk right in. If he asked why Bucky didn't think he could give a straight answer with out going red. And if Steve came in well.. He didn't want to go down that road just yet.

 

Letting out yet another groan Bucky peaked out of the shower to make sure he locked the bathroom door. Taking a deep breath Bucky leaned back against the tiles and closed his eyes. If Steve got him into this mess than he'd get him out of it.

 

Bucky's thoughts drifted to that sinful mouth. The way Steve's tongue slid across his lips to wet them, his pout, his smile. But then he imagined what that mouth would feel like around his cock. The way Steve would try to take all of him, and Bucky was certainly no average man if his arm didn't already say that about him. Would Steve gag? Would he be able to take all of it?

 

Though his imagination was certainly vivid he wished he could feel the real thing. He wished he could feel how hot, how wet it would be to slide down Steve's throat. Would it be his first blowjob? Would he have practice? Or would he just fumble and gag, covering Bucky's cock in his saliva?

 

As his knees grew weak as his thumb slowly slid over the head of his cock he wanted Steve so badly. Letting out a muffled moan as he bit his bottom lip, he didn't want Steve to hear him. "Nnn fuck Steve."

 

**\---Warning Over---**

 

Suddenly a loud bang threw Bucky from his fantasy. Turning off the shower he didn't stop to grab a towel before throwing open the bathroom door running out of the room. Drenching the floor in the process he ran down the stairs making sure to grab the railing quickly before he slipped. "Steve!?"

 

* * *

 

 

**Steve’s Point Of View**

 

Steve was laughing as he poked his head out from the kitchen. "Sorry about that Buck! The oven door slammed open. You were taking a while so I decided to make some-...." A deep blush quickly spread over Steve's face and down his neck once he saw Bucky was naked. Of course they had both seen each other naked before they practically grew up together. But this... He had never seen Bucky like this. Dripping wet, his hair down, and with an erection!

 

Growing up sure he stole a few glances but he had never once seen Bucky hard. Sure he knew Bucky wasn't exactly average while soft and Steve imagines he would more likely be a show-er but this.. Oh he knew Bucky was definitely a grower and he couldn't keep his eyes off it! It was.. All he could think of was Wow.. And how he would love to just drop to his.. He mentally pushed that thought aside 'Bad Steve! He's your best friend!'

 

Seeing Steve's reaction Bucky looked confused before he looked down realizing he was naked. Blushing he looked back up at Steve. "Oh Steve I uh um I.." Looking around he quickly grabbed the throw off the couch covering himself. "Sorry I uh I heard the bang and I uh.. What um.. What were you saying? You're making some what?"

 

Quickly turning back to the kitchen Steve tried to push his thoughts away. "I was just uh.. I was saying I made some spaghetti pie.. You should.. You should go get dressed if you want some."

 

"Hmm? Oh yeah.. Yeah I'll go do that." Bucky quickly ran back up the stairs. Once he left Steve let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He had just seen Bucky naked, wet, but what really got him was Bucky's erection.

 

'Bucky he's.. I mean.. God I shouldn't be thinking about him like this but.. But I can't help it. Was he.. I mean obviously he was but who.. We don't have any magazines or anything was he.. Could he have been thinking of me? No.. No I don't think he would I mean.. Maybe. No Steve.. Steve don't get your hopes he was just.. God he was ugh!'

 

Shaking his head he pushed his thoughts to the back as he occupied his mind with cleaning the kitchen. When Bucky finally came back down Steve smiled seeing his best friend in such tight jeans, but his blush was still there. He could imagine how Bucky stuffed... "I have a plate for you sitting on the-."

 

"I'm sorry!" Bucky blurted out interrupting Steve as he walked over to grab his plate from the kitchen island. "I didn't.. I didn't mean for you to see that I just.. I got scared when I heard the bang I thought the worst. I should have grabbed a towel or some pa-."

 

"Buck.. Shut up you're rambling. It's fine honestly. I mean we've both seen each other naked it's no big deal alright?"

 

"I.. I guess just. Sorry." 

 

Rolling his eyes Steve grabbed his plate walking to the couch. "Come on Buck the movie is waiting."

 

* * *

 

 

While watching the movie Steve noticed Bucky kept glancing at him. Sighing he turned toward him crossing his arms. "Alright spill, whats up with you Buck?"

 

"Hmm? Wha.. What do you mean?"

 

"Don't play dumb you keep staring at me. What's up?"

 

"Oh well I uh.." He didn't think Steve noticed. "Alright it's just.. I..I. I lo-... I love your cooking and was just thinking we have about eight years of food piled inhere maybe you could make something extra like a cake or.." Bucky started rambling his cheeks turning red.

 

"Woah woah Bucky slow down." Steve laughed putting his plate on the floor to let Crook finish it. "I heard you mention something about a cake but everything else was sort of lost to me. But yeah if you want a cake I can make one."

 

Bucky groaned loudly, frustrated. "That's not really what I.. Ugh never mind."

 

"Hey no.. Buck what is it? You alright? It's not about your arm is it? Or is it about before because I told you that-." Running his flesh hand through his hair Bucky couldn't take all the questions anymore.

 

"I read your journal!" He blurted out looking away as Steve became quiet. "I'm sorry alright? I read your journal and I don't regret it because I love you and I needed to know if you felt like that too and ugh! Steven Grant Rogers I fucking love you!"

 

After Bucky's confession the room went silent.. "Steve?" He turned around nervously. "Are.. Are you upset with me?"

 

"You.. You read my journal?" Bucky nodded looking down at his hands. "And.. And you feel the same way?" Again Bucky nodded. "Buck.. Look at me." Slowly he looked up as Steve took his hands into his own. "Say it again.. Please say it again."

 

"I.. I love you Steve."

 

"Again."

 

"I.. Love you Steve."

 

"Again. Say it again."

 

"I love you Steven Grant Rog-." He was interrupted as Steve yanked him forward by his shirt their lips crashing against each others.

 

Slowly Steve pulled back a smile on his lips. "I love you too Buck. I have since we were kids but.. You probably knew that already you jerk."

 

"Of course I did punk." Leaning forward he placed a soft brief kiss to Steve's lips.

 

"Stevie... Steve.. I need to ask you something important." Reaching under his shirt Bucky pulled off a chair with two wedding bands on it. Pulling one off he took Steve's hand into his placing the ring onto Steve's palm. "Steve... Will you marry me?"

 

His eyes widened looking up at his best friend. “Well damn Buck. You could at least ask me out first but…” A bright smile came to his face. Seeing it all Bucky could think was ‘ _During all this hell and the kid still has the brightest smile on his face… That’s why I love ‘im._ ’

 

"You know what.. We've been through so much already yeah. Yes Buck I'll marry you. Find a damn priest for me and I'll gladly marry you you jerk." Leaning up he places a deep kiss on his best friend, now fiance's lips.

 

"Really?! Oh Stevie I've got to be the luckiest man alive right now!" Pulling Steve into his lap he slowly slid the wedding band onto Steve's finger as well as one onto his own. "Don't go backing out now punk. Apocalypse or not it's a permanent thing."

 

“I’d never dream of backing out jerk. I just hope you don’t get cold feet on me.”

 

Laughing together Steve leaned back against his fiance as Bucky wrapped his arms around his waist.

 

“I love you Steve.”

 

“I love you too Bucky…… But one of us has to clean up the spaghetti."

 

* * *

 

 

_Steve’s Journal Entry: 11_

 

_‘I know Bucky is just going to read this anyway but I have no problem with that now. I want to continue this journal so everyone knows my story. Knows our story Bucky._

 

 _Alright so… I saw Bucky naked today. All I could think of was…_ ~~_My god he’s amazing._ ~~ _Wow._

 

_Oh shut up you haven’t seen him soaking wet running from a shower with that.. That… With a damn baseball bat hanging from his legs! And I mean.. It had started to go down when he got down the stairs so imagine that thing at its full length! Sorry Buck but wow.. I never really looked at you when we undressed before. I didn’t want you to know about how I felt but well…_

 

_No need to hide that now. But besides seeing ~~a god naked~~  Bucky naked. You'll never believe what happened.. Besides the idiot telling me he has been reading my journal well.. He admitted to being in love with me and well you already know how I feel about him. But that isn't even the best part.. He asked me to marry him!_

 

_Yes I know you’re probably thinking that's the dumbest idea during a zombie apocalypse but… No… If I die I want it to be as Bucky’s husband. As his. And he as mine. There is no other way I’d like to go. And… If something were to happen and I know you won't like this Bucky but.. I need you to be the one to put me down if it does. You’re the only one I trust._

 

_I love you Bucky. Now you and the world know it too. Hurry up and find that priest for me will you? Ugh I can't believe I'm going to be Mr. Steve Grant Rogers-Barnes. Mr. Steven Barnes... Steve Barnes... You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this day.'_

 

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6: The Quiet Month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's POV ~~
> 
> Pretty much this chapter is just Bucky thinking back on his first time with Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has not even been uploaded to Fanfiction .net yet. So I would love some comments on your opinions of it.
> 
> This chapter will have sexual content soooo yeah. Enjoy!

_Chapter Six: The Quiet Month_

 

**Bucky’s Point Of View**

 

_Bucky’s Journal: Entry 7_

 

_‘So it’s been some time since I’ve written to you guys. So much has happened with me and Steve. I don’t even know where to begin well besides the begining. Lets see…. Steve and I… We’re great. I wound out blurting out my feelings like an idiot but.. It turned out great really. I even asked Steve to marry me, and he said yes!_  

_I know I know it was probably dumb I mean we're in the middle of an apocalypse. Not only that but I only just told the punk I love him and suddenly we're engaged.... But it isn't, not to me at least. I love Steve and if we're gonna' die I want to be his husband... Annnnyway. That was over a month ago._  

_Since then we've sort of just been relaxing or trying to anyway. Steve... That idiot. Let me just tell you what happened two weeks ago..._  

_So I was going through the stock pile on our floor. I know we have plenty of food and what ever else we need but I wanted to write down everything we have ~~I know it might seem stupid but that's just me~~. While I was doing that this idiot thought it would be funny to turn our bedroom into a giant fort. He moved all the other mattresses, blankets, and pillows from the other rooms into ours. He said something about wanting to see me laugh and have fun again... Let me just tell you I did much more than laugh with him.' _

 

* * *

 

 

**_~Flashback~_ **

 

Bucky stood in the stockroom a clipboard in hand as he wrote down the number of canned peas they had. Moving onto the next row he was going to continue until he heard something slam down and a loud "Oof!" come from down the hall. Rolling his eyes with a smile on his lips Bucky put his clipboard down to go check on his husband to be. Getting to their bedroom door he turned the handle but found it locked.

 

"Stevie? You alright in there?" Jiggling the doorknob he tried again as he heard Steve shuffling around. "Steve?" If his voice sounded like he was beginning to panic he wouldn't admit it.

 

"H-Hold on!" Steve called out quickly. "I'm almost done Buck just give me a minute!"

 

"Done with what? Steve what're you doing?" Bucky kept jiggling the handle trying to urge Steve to open the door. If he was being honest with himself he was worried. He always was when it came to Steve.

 

"Jeez Buck hold on!" Another slam, more shuffling, and finally the door unlocked. Pulling it open Steve had a shy smile on his lips, he was wearing on of Bucky's shirts with a pair of boxer briefs. Bucky stood there in shock before grabbed Steve by his waist pulling him so that their chests were flush together.

 

"My my what do we have here? Is that my shirt?" Steve nodded his, his cheeks quickly becoming red as he reached down to play with the bottom button.

 

"I-I... I didn't think you'd mind. P-Plus it smelt like you i-it's comfy."

 

 

"Oh Stevie of course I don't mind. Now.. What was all that noise? Had me worried." Steve perked up at the question a smirk coming to his lips.

 

"I thought we could have a bit of fun so... I made a fort!" Pulling the door open wider Steve had a beaming smile on his face as he let Bucky see everything he had done.

 

Against the walls Steve had stacked all the mattresses from the other rooms so that there was no possible way to see said walls. The couch cushions and pillows were spread all along to bedroom floor so that not an inch of it was showing. Steve had even moved their bed into the middle of the room so it was surrounded by the pillows and cushions. Around the room sheets and blankets were hanging from mattress to mattress as well as around their bed as if it was their own secret hideaway. Several string lights hung around the room and over their bed for a more intimate feel instead of using the brighter light.

 

Bucky just stood there holding onto Steve's waist as he looked around their room. He was a bit shocked Steve had done all this. Out of everything they've been through and even what was still going on and Steve chose to make a fort? Snickering Bucky leaned over placing a kiss on Steve's cheek.

 

"It's beautiful Stevie. But I could'a helped you know.  But then again I might not have done much with you lookin' so fine. I mean Stevie.. You have no idea how hot you look do you?

 

_**~~Sexual Content Warning!~~** _

 

Steve's blush only grew deeper as he turned to pull Bucky into their room. "I wanted it to be a surprise. You, and by extension Crook since he's always following you around the house, have been so busy making sure everything is secure and that we're safe. I wanted to give you a place to be able to relax and enjoy yourself."

 

Leading Bucky to their bed Steve playfully pushed him back onto the mattress. Landing he let out an "Oof" before laughing. Leaning up onto his arm he gave Steve a sultry smile. "Draw me like one of your french girls Stevie." Rolling his eyes Steve slowly climbed up the bed and into Bucky's lap.

 

Looking up at the soft glow of the string lights he left out a deep sigh. "Buck... I... I wanna try something and, and I know.. I know you aren't exactly small but.. Just.. I want to try this." Slowly, in case Bucky wanted him to stop, Steve slid down getting between Bucky's spread thighs. Reaching up he cautiously begun to under the others belt.

 

"Steve? W-What are you-?"

 

"I get it if you don't want me to do this just.. Just say so but.. If you do just, just relax and let me do this. Please." Nervously Steve pulled off Bucky's belt and begun to undo his pant.

 

"Steve-"

 

"I-It's not because I feel like you're pressuring me to do this or anything. So don't try saying that. I just want to do this.. Please?"

 

"Steve! God will you just shut up for a minute?" Reaching up Bucky ran his fingers through Steve's hair. Placing his palm against Steve's cheek he leaned up to gently kiss him. "Yeah I was gonna' ask if you were sure but all you had to do was say yes... You're nervous.." It wasn't a question. He could tell, it was obvious Steve was trembling. Tucking a strand of hair behind his lover's ear Bucky slowly caressed Steve's cheek. "Relax baby. If we're going to do this I want you to be comfortable, don't rush, and don't force yourself to take more than you can handle." Running his thumb over Steve's bottom lip he slowly laid back against his elbows to watch Steve. "We have all the time in the world Stevie, use it." With more confidence Steve unbuttoned Bucky's pants. Feeling  daring he leaned down pulling the zipper down with his teeth.

 

As soon as Bucky lifted his hips to help, Steve yanked off his pants, briefs and all. A gasp leaving his lips before he could stop himself. Sure he had seen Bucky naked plenty of times growing up and in the incident a few days ago. But he had never seen him like this. This was.. Steve knew he was hung from there incident the other day but this was ridiculous. Seeing Bucky half hard he was massive but this.. He was at full mast here and Steve didn't think there was any way his hand would even fit around it let alone his mouth. All he could think of was the time Bucky had shown him one of the Japanese pornos as a joke.

 

 

He never really got a chance to admire Bucky's cock before he thought it was big before but up close.. He was not only long but Steve couldn't even fully wrap his hand around it. But he wanted to do this, was determined to do this.

 

Looking up,his blush quickly spread back to his cheeks as he noticed Bucky staring at him. "C-Could you um.. Would you mind closing your eyes for now? I uh.. I don't.. Please?"

 

"Of course Stevie. Anything you need just tell me." Closing his eyes Bucky put his arms behind his head. "Take your time baby. There's no rush."

 

Getting a determined look in his eyes Steve leaned down letting his tongue slowly circle the head. Hearing Bucky’s groan encouraged Steve to continue. Slowly he took the head as well as an inch into his mouth. He would’ve taken more but the girth was to much for him, he was straining his jaw already and he barely even started.

 

Slowly he pulled back, looking up he noticed Bucky staring. The intensity of his gaze sent shivers down Steve's spine. A deep blush coming to his cheeks Steve tucked more of his hair behind his ear. “I.. S-Sorry you’re just really big.”

 

“Stevie you don’t have to force yourself. If you can’t do it that’s fine you coul-” Sucking in a deep breath Bucky let out a loud groan resisting the urge to thrust into the wet heat he felt around his cock. Looking down he noticed Steve had almost half his cock down his throat. “Oh fuck Stevie how did you-?!”

 

Slowly Steve pulled back smirking at the groan that left Bucky’s lips. “I never said I couldn’t do it. Just that you were really big, and god Buck..” Leaning down Steve slowly licked up the length of his lovers cock. “You taste amazing… Plus it helps being able to unlock your jaw. And you know… Being able to control your gag reflex is a bonus.”

 

Before Bucky could even think of a response Steve had his cock back down his throat. Throwing his head back he let out a deep groan. “F-Fuck Steve! Should’a done this ages ago! G-Gotta’ go to church for this Stevie. G-Gotta’ fuck! Gotta’ ask for forgiveness cause your… Mmm yes use your tongue! Mmm fuck cause your mouth’s a sin! F-Fuck baby you need to slow down. D-Don’t wanna cum to fast.”

 

Steve didn’t bother listening, he wanted this for far to long. He wanted to taste every inch of Bucky’s skin, taste every drop of cum, every drop of sweat. He waited to long to waste another second. Taking a deep breath through his nose Steve quickly took the rest of Bucky’s cock down his throat. Letting out a deep moan as he pressed his nose against Bucky, his throat tightening as he felt his lover’s cock twitching.

 

“Oh fuck Stevie!” Reaching down he placed his hand on the back of Steve’s head which caused Steve to groan. “Oh fuck baby you like that?” Looking down to watch Steve, Bucky groaned tightening his grip on Steve’s hair. “Fuck baby are you fingering yourself!?”

 

Looking up through his lashes Steve slowly pulled off Bucky’s cock hollowing his cheeks as he came up. A thin line of spit connected them as Steve licked over his lips a soft whine escaping them. “Nnn I-I didn’t want to wait. Wanted.. Wanted to be able to nnn to take your cock!"

 

"Fuck Stevie thats.. Shit babe." Pulling back Bucky suddenly pushed Steve onto his back kneeling between his legs. "Keep those legs nice and wide sugar." Reaching for the lube Steve left on the bed he quickly coated three finger. Taking one of Steve's legs he placed it over his shoulder leaning down to kiss his thigh. "Just relax baby. I'm gonna' be nice and gentle with you.. For now"

 

Without waiting he pushed one slippery digit inside Steve's hole. Giving Steve a minute to relax Bucky crooked his finger searching for the blond's prostate. "B-Bucky t-there! Yes! S-So much better than w-when I-"

 

"As much as I love that thought baby you're thinking to much right now." 

 

"Then why dont you make me- Ah ahh yes!" Steve arched from the bed as he felt Bucky thrust two more fingers into his stretched hole. "I-I swear if you don't hurry up I'll nnn! I'll make you get yourself off!"

 

Slowly Bucky pulled his fingers back grabbing the lube to slick himself up. "Hope you're ready baby because I'm sure as hell not letting you leave this bed." Before Steve could respond Bucky had thrust several inches into him. He felt like he was being split in two, yet he was loving it. The pleasure he felt made his toes curl as he clenched around his lover's cock.

 

By the time Bucky was halfway in Steve was moaning loud enough that if anyone was outside they definitely would have heard him. Clutching tightly to Bucky his nails leaving red trails down his back, Steve nodded each time he askeddesperate for Bucky not to stop. "P-Please Buck f-feels so good!"

 

Though Bucky didn't stop he was still concerned. "Fuck Stevie you're so tight, you sure you don't need me to stop?"

 

"J-Just nnn Bucky never done this b-before. J-Just hurts a bit but fuck Bucky i-it feels so good! Please d-don't stop."

 

"Fuck Stevie I didn't know you were into that kinda shit. Yeah baby I'm not gonna' stop. Just remember you asked for this." Before Steve could think of a response Bucky gave one last thrust sheathing himself balls deep inside Steve's tight hole.

 

"Bucky!" Steve screamed, back arching as he came violently, covering his chest in his thick cum. "D-Don't you dare fucking stop! Please!"

 

Bucky didn't need much encouragement rolling his hips he let out a deep groan feeling Steve's still clenching passage around his cock. "Fuck baby.. Sorry Stevie but I just.. I can't.. I need to fuck you I can't be gentle anymore!" Spreading Steve's legs wider allowed him to get even deeper into Steve's clenching hole. Pulling almost all the way out Bucky suddenly pulled Steve's hips flush against his own burying his cock deeper than before. He didn't even have to try to aim for Steve's prostate because every drag of his cock brushed perfectly against it.

 

"Bucky... B.. Ucky... M-More." Steve mumbled rolling his hips in time with each thrust."Wa-Wanna'... W-Want you to. To fill me. W-Wanna' feel it."

 

"Fuck Steve.. Stevie thats.. Nnn fuck. If you don't relax thats gonna happen pretty soon baby." 

 

Steve either didn't care or didn't hear him because he kept going on and on with things he wanted Bucky to do to him. Things Bucky wanted to do, oh he definitely wanted to fuck Steve until he couldn't walk but if he didn't stop soon he wasn't going to last.

 

"W-Want you to.. To pull my hair. Nnn! I-I want you to. F-Fuck! I want you t-to eat me out Bucky! I wanna feel it e-every time I sit down! Bucky! Bucky!" Steve threw his head back and Bucky immediately latched on his teeth scraping against the pale column of flesh. "Bucky! I-I want.. Fuck I want you to bite me! I want.. Fuck we'll talk about this later!" Steve laughed letting out a deep moan. "I-I'm gonna' B-Buck I'm gonna cum again!"

 

"Me too Stevie! F-Fuck I'm gonna nnn!" Bucky gently bit down on Steve's neck as he pumped out what felt like a gallon of thick spunk into his lovers tight hole.

 

"Bucky!" Steve screamed, his nails biting into his lovers back as he came between the two of them slicking their stomachs.

 

"F-Fuck Stevie I.. Shit I didn't hurt you did I?"

 

Steve let out a little groan shaking his head. "N-No I.. I feel great like.. Buck seriously that was.. Wow. Just um.. W-Would you mind.. Not pulling out?"

 

"Mmm I don't mind at all baby. Let me just.." Shuffling around Bucky was careful not to hurt Steve as he laid behind him pulling him against his chest. "You know we're gonna have to have that talk later baby. Wanna hear everything you want me to do to you."

 

"S-Shut up! We'll... Later ok?" Steve grumbled linking his fingers with Bucky's. "Mmm now's a time for a nap. Clean up after."

 

"Love you Stevie."

 

"Love you too jerk."

 

**Warning over ~Flashback Over~**

* * *

 

 

_Bucky's Journal Entry 7 continued:_

 

_After that it was.. God it was amazing. Steve became insatiable. We wound up doing it around half the house. Lets see... He snuck up on me in the shower, jumped me while I was cooking. Oh god I'll never forget I woke up to him riding me. It was.. Fuck it was amazing. Then there was the other night. We were watching a movie and the next thing I know Steve's under the blanket my cock down his throat. But you definitely wont hear me complaining._

_Like I said its been a month so that isn't all we have been doing.. Well pretty much but we have done more.. We had a picnic on the roof the other day it was nice.. Steve made cucumber and cheese sandwiches, and a cake! Oh he knows how much I love his baking._

_But not much else has happened its been a pretty quiet month which is good to finally have but.. I think Steve's getting restless. He doesn't like being cooped up in the house all the time. We might be leaving soon, try to find more people and head to Chicago._

_But for now things are good. They might not be in the future, they might get worse but only time can tell. But for now we're good._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know how good I am with sex scenes so opinions would be great.. I tried not to make it to raunchy because I tend to go overboard.


End file.
